Commie Guns: Using the AK-47 for Zombies

t never fails: Start a discussion about zombies, guns or calibers, and the AK fans come out of the woodwork. I get it. You love the rifle. And if I were equipping a swarm of illiterate peasants who would receive a day's worth of instruction, of whom I was unconcerned about casualty rates, I'd equip them with AKs, too.

But I'm not. I'm equipping me, myself and my family/friends, and they all get more than a day's training. A lot more, if they expect me to be their ammo/weapons and training supply center. I want something ergonomic. If you were to look up "non-ergonomic" in the dictionary, it would have an AK there. Or it should. The thing is a mass of stamped sheet steel, with sharp edges, corners, hand-cutting extras like the folding stock latch, and sights only someone wedded to an SMG could love.

I have a bunch of AKs. The best of them, a Krebs Custom, is almost what an AR in 7.62X39 could be, but isn't. Marc does a great job of improving the AK, but it takes a lot of work. I love mine, but I recognize its shortcomings.

Invariably, the discussions turn to the power of the 7.62X39 -- more like a light-loaded .30-30 than the hammer of Thor -- and magazines. Spare me the love letters over 75-round Chicom drums. Have you ever schlepped a rifle so-equipped all day long? Have you ever tried to shoot a rifle with one of those Cantonese goiters attached?

And the regular magazines? I'm all for durability, but do I have a metal shop worth of sheet steel just to have a ready ammo supply? Those things are heavy.

Don't get me wrong, I recognize it for being a sturdy, reliable rifle that does a good job when needed. But it isn't the be-all, end-all of defensive small arms. It won't clear a street full of zombies simply by pointing and pressing the trigger. And don't tell me it is infinitely more sturdy and reliable than the AR, unless you're willing to throw yours on the ground and run it over with a full-sized pickup truck -- a test ARs will pass, by the way.

Love it if you will, clean it because you must and depend on it, for it won't let you down. But don't try to make it more than it is. It isn't a sniper rifle, it isn't a light machine gun and it isn't ergonomic. But it is an excellent zombie-slayer.


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