Brownells Introduces the Zombie Elimination Crew

Q: Your bio says you preferred stockpiling equipment instead of using it. Now that you're actually using it, how easy has the adjustment been?
A: I don't use much of it; I provide it to the others€¦and still stockpile supplies as we scavenge for more. It stresses me out to see it used up. It was my safety net.

Q: As a hunter, how does taking out zombies compare to taking any kind of big game?
A: I don't take out zombies unless it's my only choice. Mostly, I just run - scared.

Q: Obviously, unlike big game, you can't eat zombie meat -- or can you?
A: You can't. You'll become one of them. The infection will take you over.

Q: Have you tried?
A: What? Are you sick? Gives me the heebie jeebies just thinkin' about it!

Q: Does constant paranoia have any advantages?
A: Yeah, you run from everything. Keeps you healthy!

Q: What's the one gear item you can't go on without?
A: My Doppelduffel bag! It's a hoarder's dream! Just when I think I can't cram more provisions in it, I find more room!

Survival Scenario: You're in your treestand, and you're about the call it a day when you hear a rustling from the bushes. You think it might be a big buck, so you stick around, but turns out it's a zombie. It catches your scent and begins climbing the tree. What do you do?
1. Cut the stand loose and crash it on top of the zombie, and pray you survive the crash.
2. Jump out with your rifle and hope you can turn around and fire before the zombie is munching on your medulla oblongata.
3. Blindly fire straight down and hope you hit the zombie.
4. Wait for the zombie to get in the stand so you can get a clear — albeit quick — shot off.
A: 5. Never get in a treestand! The paranoid always have an out! That — and treestands are way too elevated. I'd be more scared up there than on the ground and able to run from the undead. Besides, who can make decisions that fast?

Q: Your bio says you're a bit of an enigma. Is this by choice, or do you really not remember anything?
A: It's irrelevant. Will my response help you survive? No, my actions will.

Q: How do you keep your cool during these desperate times?
A: Look in a mirror.

Q: What are the advantages of popping the living dead from a distance rather than being in the middle of the fray?
A: Keeps a perimeter, my clothes don't get wrinkled, and my hair stays in place.

Q: Is it difficult to find good hair product in the zombie apocalypse?
A: Hair Product? A man uses motor oil.

Q: What's the one gear item you can't go on without?
A: M-99 Dress Belt. Keeps me classy... And holds my pants up.

Survivor Scenario: Your sniper post has served well for the first hour or so, but the zombie is closing in quickly. What do you reach for?
1. Semi-auto pistol.
2. Full-auto rifle.
3. Molotov cocktails.
4. Katana.
5. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, RUN.
A: 1. Semi-Auto Pistol. 5 is not even an option. It's called a "zombie attack" because I'm going after the undead, not the other way around.

Q: You're something of an action movie buff. Who is your movie idol and why?
A: Stallone, because he yells a lot while shooting firearms on film.

Q: Do all that metal in your face make it harder or easier to fight zombies?
A: It was way harder to get past the TSA in an airport than battle the undead.

Q: Have you considered tattooing camo patterns on yourself and your fellow survivors?
A: Nah, the walkers can smell you as much as they can see you.

Q: Some consider the term 'mall ninja ' to be a bit derogatory. How do you respond?
A: I own it; describes me well. I am a fan of guns, gear and Hollywood. It was a hobby, hitting the range was a good time -- until the outbreak. When it all went down, whose house do you think people went to first? Mine! All fun and games until you really need to survive!

Q: What's the one gear item you can't go on without?
A: Spike's 37mm Havoc Launcher. I tend to over-do things; this is no different.

Survivor Scenario: You're finishing up some great ink on a customer when some walkers crash through the studio window. All that's within your reach is the tattoo machine, needle, and of course, the customer. A gun is locked under the register, but it may take a bit to unlock. What do you do?
A: Use my fists. They are likely a more effective close combat weapon. Did you see these guns? [points to left arm] I call this one "Smith," [points to right arm] and this one "Wesson."

Q: Your bio said you recently lost your poor dog, and we're all worried sick. How close is the team to finding him?
A: I have continued posting 'Lost Puppy ' flyers everywhere we go, but no one has called with any intelligence.

Q: Is it hard to stay so good looking in a world that is crumbling around you?
A: It's not hard when you're tactically beautiful.

Q: You were a news anchor before the apocalypse. Tell us a little bit about the early reports you were getting from field reporters.
A: There was something about a satellite splashdown. Later reports talked of an infection, but all I heard was screaming. I knew it was time to take action!

Q: Speaking of field reporters, whatever became of them?
A: More like, 'What did they become? ' My guess, dinner.

Q: What's the one gear item you can't go on without?
A: My 5.11 Tactical Vest, because it is fashionable.

Survivor Scenario: You're anchoring when the zombies invade the studio, killing the security guard. All that's within your reach are your notes, a boom mic, and the camera. What do you go for first and why?
A: My notes, because they contain the latest information about the current state of things. You have to know what is next. Without a plan, you're just left swinging a boom mic.

Q: As seen in the short film, you've seen some pretty gruesome injuries as the team medic. What's the most gruesome injury you've seen so far?
A: Oh man, yeah that finger was awful mangled in that footage, I tell you. I had to address a pretty intense hangnail not long ago, too. Things can get pretty crazy out here.

Q: How have your skeet shooting skills come in handy thus far?
A: Yeah, and not for what you think. We have to eat, my friend, somebody has to get some birds down for us to munch on.

Q: Your bio says you believe hugs to be the best treatment. How has that worked out so far?
A: Not as good as I hoped. I hugged a live one -- [in a low whisper] I don't like to call them "zombies" or "undead" 'cuz they may still have feelings in there -- and he nearly got me. I coulda ended up stumblin' around more than I already do [laughs]!

Q: Did your wife make it?
A: That story... Is yet to be told, good buddy.

Q: What's the one gear item you can't go on without?
A: My job is to heal the sick, buddy, so I gotta say the Rapid Deployment & Medical Supply Kit. Gotta make sure my friends make it. We're like a family, man.

Survivor Scenario: Two members of your team are down, and you only have time to rescue one of them. Do you go for the one who's more heavily armed, or the one with more combat expertise?
A: Hate to say this, but I gotta choose the one with more combat experience. We can go back for the weapons when the attack ends; you can't go back and gain expertise.