Caption Contest: The Zombie Hazmat Suit

by Dylan Polk | February 18, 2013

225

This week's G&A Caption Contest features one zombie hunter who's leaving nothing to chance in the apocalypse. Caption this photo before Saturday, Feb. 23, to win!

The Winning Caption:

Ron

Alright! Who replaced my filter with a urinal cake?

The Prize:

Brite-Strike Tactical Blue Dot Illumination Tool with Tactical Touch Switch

The Brite-Strike Tactical Blue Dot Illumination Tool features an LED life of up to 100,000 hours with a maximum output of 210 Lumens. To find out more, visit Brite-Strike!

Bryce

your sure this suit will stop the zombie bites, right?
- Beaujohn
  
  Sure it will, It is made in the good old USA. No cheap stuff would work on Zombies.
- Johnny
  
  This AR sure stinks!
Bryce

Your sure this suit will protect me from Zombie bites ?
Bryce

OK, who cut the cheese? its a good thing i always pack my respirator
Bryce

MOM my wrist aren't covered…
Matthew

if the dead raise from the grave, they are gonna smell like putrid road kill on a hot summer day.
Natalie

"Does this mask make my nose look big?"
Retiredguy00

"Yeah…I'm sure I'm well protected, but I can't see or hear!"
L J C

damm zombies splatter all over when hit !
Jim

Prepper Hell, have you been in the port-a-potty!
Gary Lanphear

I'm headed to Camp david to shoot some skeet
UncleSamsArmy

"Does this outfit make me look fat?"
Dennis

The cloths make the man.
Dbro

Wheres my whiskey filled camel back
Dbro

You know what they say about a guy with a big gas mask
L J C

them zombies sure do splatter when you wack em .
Jim

Prepper, No way, have you smelled the port-a-potty!
James D

Prepper, nah, Have you smelled those port-a-potties?
Jim

Really? Your sure….. The chicks dig this look?
Greylock

Well, it lubricates OK – but that skunk oil is just not going to cut it.
Donna M. Laws

I spent $3,000 nose job and I have wear this?
NicePiece

Mike TV still suffering radiation effects of Wonka-Vision 40 years on.
Marcello

"Ready to vote Obama"
eric house

ah yes the latest spring fations are in!
remlapalpha

Can anyone here me out there I've got to pee!
peter

Paintball? What's that?, 21st century Mr clean
Stephen Malm

Hey, ain't you the guy from Scream 1 through 6?
Stephen Malm

All I could make out was "Fnork-snork-bork, fork-bork-tork."
Stephen Malm

Larry was still having trouble with the concept of the Witness Protection Program.
Stephen Malm

Right now my new formulation of smokeless powder is not quite "stink-less".
supergrunt

Man I hope I don't fart
supergrunt

Time to Change Granpa"s Depends
barracuda66

Shoot a zombie???? I couldn't hit an elephant in this outfit…….
Jason

Umpa Lumpa on steroids. BOOYYAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stephen Malm

Once again, gentlemen – the three pockets across the top of your vest are, from left to right: Three Musketeers, Snickers, 40mm grenade shell.
Stephen Malm

And to think, in high school, Edgar was voted "Least likely to date women, ever!"
Brian Church

Funny, I get the same look while Im wearing this that I do when I tell people Im going Zombie hunting.
Brian Church

This new zobie suit was only $30 more than the normal suits…..and it came with all the same features. What a deal!
WeepingEagle

As you can see Mr. President it’s going to take more than you think for you and your U.N. buddies to wipe us out.
Dylan

Over kill? What does that even mean?
*Jason*

If I only had a cape:(
satmanski

FEMA's little known Zombie Control Division
dustin

I miss the old days when SPF 30 was enough
dustin

lets see if these guys can hit 80
laramy

With that kind of shooting you guys are really stinking up the range
DavidDrums

OK Everyone, STAND BACK. I have now come in contact with the evil AR platform. We need to get rid of it.
Consteacher

I hate it when I get head detal!
Aesch33

It is truly scary how prepared our generation is for the zombie apocalypse.
Mhendrix

Its a fine suit now but whats he going to wear after labor day?
I1i1i1

Oh God! I farted.
deadfoldmike

Doe's this make me look fat?
deadfoldmike

How do I pee?
deadfoldmike

You guys smell that?
deadfoldmike

Nothing to see here!
saul

I swear I was this close to Ted nugent.
BJD

I'm starting to think I got into the wrong prepper group.
Freedom

Gasmask… Check
Has-Mat suit…Check
'Cool-looking' tactical vest… Check
Customized AR… Check
Extra Mags and Ammo… Oh Crap!!!
Overall assessment (Completely Unprepared for anything)
wsr1961

"All we know is they have hostages, and they've been eating beans."
Frank Kovacs

'Go ahead and laugh, but I've seen what those CSI people can find.'
Frank Kovacs

Turns out its not funny at all when you fart in a gas-suit.
Nick Saunders

OK honey, I'm ready to change the baby's diaper this time."
Nick Cockerham

Better safe than sorry.
NGC

"Any one else watch the Walking Dead?"
John York

White House Inspector,just trying to clear out the rest of the undesirables !
https://www.facebook.com/doug.frederick.90 Doug Frederick

I sure am glad they decided to issue us this gas mask., It's hard protecting Obama for the droppings and the smell.
Cousin Bob

Damn, I knew I shouldn't have eaten those Burritos and re-fried beans for lunch!
Cousin Bob

Okay, who filled up my gas mask filter with Limburger cheese?
Cousin Bob

Are you sure I won't draw attention to myself when I arrive in New York city?
Cousin Bob

Where did you say those "Killer Bees" were?
Cousin Bob

Damn, I never knew "Zombies" smelled so bad!
Jeff Knight

What are ya going to do…It was chili day at camp and you know how that affects George!
Nosfer6

Aww crap, I just farted.
Nosfer6

And you thought these things smelled bad… on the outside!
Quinton BrubakerGass

I forgot all my mags and ammo, so I hope this thing is bite proof for when the zombies come!
alan

zombie apocalypse…game, set, match.
Brandon

Dodging deadly icicles and taming Black Bart were child's play compared to what happened to Ralphie next…
Sean

Alice…i am your father.
(in his most breathiest voice)
Austin b

That pastrami sandwich probably wasn't a good idea.
yp3

Zombie Hunter in action.
Tanstaafl2

Fooey! – I wish they made HAZMAT suits in tactical black too.
tanstaafl2

Heh! Heh! – in this get-up, they can't tell that I'M the zombie.
rti

stop the zombie crap already.stupid articles such as this give liberal anti-gun wackos fodder.
tanstaafl2

Wile E. Coyote with his latest ACME purchase.
Dave

I'm ready for anything… that doesn't require bullets… still out of stock…
tanstaafl2

How the heck do you get a cheek weld with this thing on!?
tanstaafl2

YECH! I just sneezed.
tanstaafl2

Momma'd be so proud if she could see me now!
tanstaafl2

What do you mean, "Take off your mask" – I'm not WEARING a mask?
Trey73

"Painters Protective Apparel" taken a little too far ?
JBTOYS

"Gawwd, I'm allergic to Zombies. Hey, how do you wipe off a big snot in this thing??!"
Throwlead

The Emperor's New Multicam
Anynamewildo

"Bobby, we have a code 4 in the men's restroom!" It sucks being the new guy at Taco Bell
Milo

These aren't the zombies you're looking for…. move along, move along
Evan

Regular zombies? Not a problem. It's those zombie-bees I'm scared of.
Sammy

"How do i know if this mask is really working" "Do i need to hit a switch to turn it on" "Should i see a light"
Indiana Oak

We've got to quit having our club shoots next to these cattle pastures!
Hemi

First time changing your baby’s diaper
Indiana Oak

Zombies!!!?? They told me this was winter camo!!
Consteacher

The wife says 'try a little goat cheese, no body will know you even ate any!
Jeff

Man run one zombie threw with your gun and the smell never comes out.
mattb302

Now if I can only find ammo…………
Ron

Alright, who replaced my filter with a urinal cake?
- dylan_polk
  
  Ron,
  
  Congratulations! You're the winner.
  
  Email me at dylan.polk@imoutdoors.com with your address and contact information to receive your prize.
  
  Thanks,
  
  Dylan Polk
  G&A Social Media Editor
GunFlint

Mr. Pesident

I thought you said their was no iminent danger?
SamF1911

So this is what Obama Care looks like.
gi_joe079

What do you mean haloween was yesterday?!
mike degiorgio

I'm all dressed up and now I Have to pee
JimmyV

What you looking at? I always dress up for Easter.
Bryan

It's a black and white dinner, right? Am I over dressed?
biggun44mag

Do I get the camo jumpsuit after I kill my first zombie?
JSkaggs

Zombies are the Least of my Worries……I had chili for lunch and I cant get out of this damn suit!!!!! It smells like something died…
martygunman

Zombies are easy,but you guys after a bowl of beans. No one is safe.
Doubletap Tommy

What costume party?
JMB

Damn it, I have to go to bathroom!
Terry

Only seven rounds? That stinks!
Steve

Okay dude, you got your camera?! I can't believe we actually made a concentrated fart bullet! WATCH THIS!!
Norman Swinehart Jr

Are you sure I can't catch the flu in here, or are you just saying that to make me feel better,I think am I hiding from the Zombies?They can't see me can they?
Patrick

What do you mean the Iraq war is over. I just got all dressed up!
paddy

Manfred had failed to consider the potential consequences of an IBF (irritable bowel flare)
Jk5693

Hells Angels approved. We're wearing these to sturgis!!!
lambo

Dont worry im from the government and im here to help.
paddy

Whew….I failed to consider the potential consequences of an IBF (irritable bowel flare)!!
Hooter Horton

"I don't know about protecting anything, I just figured, Hell, if I can look just a little bit scarier than they do"…………..
NICK

SMITTY WAS ALL PRIMED AND SUITED UP FOR THE UNGRATEFUL DEAD CONCERT EVENT OF THE CENTURY…..
Edmond69

I think they all turned to zombies after a week long chili feed, so I came prepared
Bob Schroeder

Just act normal. We'll blend in and they will never notice us.
DalhartCHL

HELP! We're being lead by Zombies. I'm having to wear this suite to clean up bad legislation being passed! It smells like someone rewrote The Constitution. Please send reinforcements!
kraig

And I thought they smelled bad on the outside
matt lehman

if the zombie apocalypse dosent occure i know someone whos going to be flu free!
matt lehman

BACK OFF OBAMA ! this is what i need to clean the bed bugs at the local red roof inn!
Tom

Yes dear, I know I can change the babys' diaper!
Scott594

No point in even trying, Gary Lamphear has it!! Busted a gut
paul

Does this rifle go with this suit
Eric

What, the news reports in Montana were just a hoax?
Robert

There's no way gun grabbers will look at a picture like this and label gun owners as paranoid lunatics…nope, none a chance.
RSpittler

Chicks dig me because I rarely wear underwear and when I do….it's usually something pretty special.
J.C. Cropper

Why, yes, I will be attending a meeting with Piers Morgan, Obama, Biden and Feinstein….. why do you ask ?
ArchAngel

Here zombie here zombie daddy got something for you a nice 5.56
Ron

Alright! Who replaced my filter with a urinal cake?
Cody trostel

"Never put all your eggs in one basket" 2013 is here and now I have to pay my credit cards back for all this s#*t! Lol
Glenn Chase

This suit is a double duty suit it repels zombies and blocks the smell of Liberal gun grabbers .
Bubba Varela

Whats wrong with me? Nothing, Im in my Sunday best for the new Apocalypse church down the street.
Shane

OK, who put the stink-bomb in my AR?!
harryp269

Who says you can't wear white after Labor Day?
Shane

Howard's taking gun safety to a whole new level with the introduction of the "Full Body Condom"….only $19.99 at fine gun shops everywhere.
Big T

MMM. Zombie white meat.
Nosfer6

And you thought these things smelled bad…on the outside!
laramy

These new gun laws are really leaving a democratic odor
Nosfer6

Okay I am ready to do the kitty litter!
Brandon

The new uniform for the county bean eating contest
Radcliffe Cutshaw

Now, I'm totally safe!
Frank

We're in the fight of our lives to stop gun control and we're still talking about zombies!!? This does nothing to help or cause
R2STUD

Momma said there would be days like this, there would be days like this, my Momma said…
Valentino

Just what kind of blind date did you set me up with?
spaulding49

I swear… it smells like bacon in here!
mikek30

Crap! I just dutch ovened myself.
Tommy

AWW Man, Latrine duty……AGAIN
LD :)

Hey, you may think I look CRAZY… But, then you think about it for a minute…. you are going to be saying to yourself "WTF" Why, didn't I think of that? Nobody is going to mess with that CRAZY Ass guy in the suit and mask!!!
Yosarian87

This gun smells…where is my AK?
Bryan

The sh*t is about to hit the proverbial fan…and when it does I think I got it covered!!!
stevenwlm

Hasmat: check
Tactical gear: check
AR-15: check
Ok I'm ready to clean out the refrigerator.
Loyd

Zombie Badges? I don't need no steeenking Zombie badges !
John Tsaklis

"Now…I can visit my Marlboro toting mother-in-law."
Rob

Daryl… do i look as cool as you?
Loyd

Zombie badges?

I don't need no steeenking zombie badges !
George Washburn

Man, I should have NEVER eaten those prunes!
Mark thomas

No beano, No problem
Archeron

Hmm, no extra magzines, no extra ammo……this thing is going to make a lousy club.
Jim

Oh, so you think I look stupid, huh?
Toyotim

Zombie fighting suit… $35
Tactical vest…$69
AR15 after the mention of "Assault Weapon Ban"… Priceless!
Jacks Mule Barn

For the last time, YES I am the new elephant cage cleaner at the zoo ! ! !
Steve

Man, this suit makes my thighs sweat.
Jgnat

Tyvek suit..$6
Ar-15 ………$1200
Gas mask…$30
Tactical vest.$60
Knowing that the guy behind you taking pictures and laughing at you is gonna be screwed should zombies actually rise from the grave………priceless.
For everything else there's gold/whiskey/cigarettes or anything else I can barter with.
bassplayer34

Idiot in sheep's clothing?
Joh

In other news, a local man prepares to join in a peaceful protest against unreasonable anti-gun legislation followed by a town hall debate. When asked about the hazmat suit, he simply replied by stating he would need protection from "the zombies who feed on civil rights and liberty" from the opposing side of the debate.
Mcuda

Time to change the diaper.
CUDA426

Time to change the diapers
Lou

I hate these baked bean and sourkraut cookoffs
Thor363

I thought we were hunting ARCTIC zombie bunny wabbits!
NOYFB

Yeah, everything fits, but do you have different colors other than black and white?
Ron

No one told me the filter only works for smells and gases outside the suit.
City Zen Ommm

No, Commander, none here.But…Perhaps OLD York has intelligent life.
Will

They want to ban guns and legalize marijuana, either way I ready!!
Chris visage

Diane feinstien " these weapons must be handled with the utmost care. The proposed assault weapon handling suit or AWHS will allow safe handling of these deadly weapons"
Ryan

This AR reeks of freedom and the constitution. It can't possibly be owned by civilians.
michael

gas mask! check. full body suit! check. gun! check. magazines! damn knew i forgot something
Jason c

Now we know what is happening to all those bees.
RMW556

Smells Like Gun Control around here!
Logan

Mom! you're on Guns and Ammo!
Olen

Ok guys I am ready to testify before congress about the gun control.
BuzGuy

I just love the "READY TO VOTE" as a caption for the picture
RickO

So, you say you've had some termites?
Dead Eye Jedi

Who would have thunk only the characters from the "Spy Vs Spy" comic would survive the zombie apocalypse?
BIGBRI

Fart all you want…. I'm covered
SamF1911

Nah man the AR15 is for the zombies and the hazmat suit is just there to protect me from those filthy gun grabbers.
Clowd87

The label said Zombie and Paparazzi repellent… Return!
Gettysburg Reb

Gee Whiz! Should not have had garlic for lunch!!!!
Brasscase

This was all I had to wear, My Batman Suit is at the dry cleaners.
scott reinhart

If it is good enough for Israel… it's good enough for us… does this chest rig and vest clash with is chem suit and mask or my ar-15?
Don

Aw hell, I have to go poopies!
kyle martin

this is the last time i volunteer to go in after a rabid skunk.
Tim K.

Sure it keeps the bad stuff out, but it also keeps the farts in!
Christopher

What's black & white & ready all over?…
Christopher

CRAP!… Forgot to spit out my chew…
Wayne

The final and most effective layer of protection is… the Lunch Lady hairnet! Yeah!
Umar

No, I don't need no peripheral vision when I got this here red dot sight!
Dale Bailey

Yeah! I'm from New Jersey,how'ya know?
Henry Rybczyk

Come on Obama i'm ready!!
antler234

After thinking it over, Jack began to believe he overreacted when he heard they were serving chili at the gun show
will

I heard the government has mutated Africanized bees, one sting and you'll believe anything they tell you and I'm not taking any chances!!!
Frank Davidson Jr

Dang, do I have to wear all this stuff just to clean my rifle!?
Keith

All i can think of reading these posts, I hope the Anti gun people dont look at this,,,,,Gives them more ammo to take our guns away when 90% on here look at this picture and can only think of Urine, Farts & Beans,,,After all most of the new laws are targeted towards the mental ILL….Starting to think the posts were written by people that are a few frys short of a happy meal.
DS5

Going somewhere, Solo?
sam

They will have a great time trying to ID me totake my guns
Umar

How am I going to see a zombie sneaking up from the side while I'm engaging a group in front of me? F*** you, that's how!
MoMan

Osama, I am your father.
twofeathersfutes

Awwwwww , damn't……………….WHO put the freaking zipper on the inside ? I gotta peeeeee !
Wayne

As he suited up for the Occupy Wallstreet security detail , Officer Williams decided no matter how sexy the watch commander's wife was , it just wasn't worth it .
largemarg

Getting white house security ready for al rocker
marlin man

wish my perehpial was better
Kevin G.

I KNEW IT, fifteen minutes to get into this thing and now i have to go pee!
Six

Los Angeles Zombie Smog suit. Prepared for the Apocalypse
n_flentge

Obama's Gestapo Training Camp.
dchewitt

Democrap nearby