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Caption Contest: Full-Auto Outboard

by G&A Staff  |  July 18th, 2012 193

This week’s G&A Caption Contest features an ever-vigilant protector of the seas and his valiant vessel. Caption this photo before Saturday, July 21 to win!

This Week's Photo
Caption Contest: Full-Auto Outboard

The Winning Caption:

Take no prisoners! Mostly...since...well...they won't fit...

The Prize:

Allen Flat-Bottom Duffle Bag

With a 3,400 cubic inch capacity, this heavy duty duffle in Oak Brush Green is perfect for any outdoorsman. For more, check out Allen Company!

  • Rob

    Taliban Navy adopts a disguise in an attempt to get close to US Navy vessels.

    • dale

      Sorry, MOM could'nd make it………..

  • SamF1911

    This is the kind of duty one can expect to get when caught dating the admiral's daughter.

  • Catfish Jimmy

    The Coast Guard's new "Rubber Ducky" does make bath time so much fun!

    • magoo

      Nah thats "50 Canadian" on the niagara river,

  • connor

    MAN! I hate these budget cuts!!

  • chris s

    coast guard, patrolling a bath tub near you!

  • Steve

    Give it full throttle, this baby's got some kick.

  • Johnnie W. Brame

    ".50 cal propulsion"!!!!!

  • Mac

    The United State war on drugs funds got cuts instead of multi manned water craft that can only patrol small areas now they're going to personal one man watercrafts that can be everywhere at once. GOP math 1 big boat + 100 men = $$$$$$$$$$$ and 1 personal boat + 1 man=$

  • Nosfer6

    When they said this boat was for demonstration purposes only they weren't kidding!

  • Chuck Taylor

    I'll protect the pond mama and make sure the bastards don't take it over.

  • SamF1911

    We're gonna need a bigger boat.

  • Mike K. Calgary

    "Swamp People" – Zombie Upgrade.

  • Nosfer6

    And this is just the dinghy, wait till you see the mothership!

  • Stephen Malm

    When it came to armament, Ensign Smith over-compensated for his little dinghy.

  • Stephen Malm

    Let's show the Navy how its done. Which way to the Straight of Hormuz?

    • Stephen Malm

      How about the 'Strait of Hormuz'?

  • Stephen Malm

    Any Somali pirates who make it to the U.S. coast will rue the day they crossed paths with Commander Chaos!!

  • Stephen Malm

    Belt-fed machine gun for coastal defense – check. Ultra-quiet trolling motor for sentry duty – check. Helmet and full-face visor for seagull-poop control – check!

  • Stephen Malm

    I hate when they call my boat "Segway of the Sea"!

  • Stephen Malm

    Eddie's annoying habit of singing sea shanties off-key earned him his own patrol boat.

  • Captain Nemo

    Due to the increasing budget deficit, the Obama administration has come up with some novel ways to contain costs…

  • Iblis

    Elmer Fudd knew that Daffy wasn't getting away this time.

  • Iblis

    Bob's constant diet of Broccoli Tacos had finally earned him a new post

  • JamesWalkiewicz

    This is how the coast guard hunts birds.

  • JamesWalkiewicz

    A mounted 50 cal. can make anything look awesome and dangerous! Previously: a tractor. This week: a boat. Next week: a ______________.

    • Mike K. Calgary

      …………" a blonde with large breasts." But then again, she already is awsome and dangerous.

  • Tanner w

    Game and fish has Really stepped it up this year!

  • JamesWalkiewicz

    Who says a 50 cal. is overkill for duck hunting? Not the coast guard!

  • mike johnson

    Life boats…….yes sometimes even the USCG needs them too

  • mike johnson

    Fed up with the Geese in his pond farmer Johnson came up with a plan…….:..

  • Mike K. Calgary

    Top Secret picture of a new Water Transportation Floating drone.

  • mike johnson

    Sitting there thinking about how it ended up like this he thinks maybe drinking like a salor and toilet papering master chief thompsens house wasn't such a good idea after all

  • double tap tommy

    "Hey you kids get off my pond!" Clint Eastwood in "Marino" Torino2.

  • double tap tommy

    I'm having trouble with this one because all I can think of is where can I get one!

  • double tap tommy

    Electric trawling motor, environmentally friendly.
    Bullet riddled drug running cigarette boat sinking on the coral reef?
    not so much..

  • double tap tommy

    I think Ensign Quint might be afraid of sharks.

  • double tap tommy

    After viewing the trailer for the new "Old Man and the Sea" remake it was clear Hollywood was not staying true to Hemmingway's classic novel.

  • double tap tommy

    I think Ensign Ahab might be afraid of whales.

  • Shambo

    This is what Chuck Norris played with as a child while taking his baths.

  • Mike K. Calgary

    Security at the boatel parking lot.

  • Mike K. Calgary

    B.ig O.ld A.merican T.ricksy.

  • Stephen Malm

    "Bring enough boat" lags behind "Bring enough gun".

  • Stephen Malm

    C.P.O. Ahab searching the beaches for Rosie, the Great White Whale.

  • Stephen Malm

    "Call me Ishmael with a Vengeance".

  • Stephen Malm

    Rub-a-dub-dub meets Rat-a-tat-tat.

  • Stephen Malm

    Hawaii Five-O BMG

  • Joe Brown

    I think we're gonna need a bigger boat… but the gun is good.

  • Frank Szabo

    Thanks, O'Bungle!

  • Jeff Brady

    Them Blue Gill don't stand a chance

  • Tiff

    Hey! It looks bigger in the dark…

  • Tiff

    You WISH you had my job!

  • Tiff

    Take no prisoners!

    Mostly…since…well…they won't fit…

    • dylan_polk


      Congratulations! You're the winner.

      Email me at with your address and contact information to receive your prize.


      Dylan Polk
      G&A Online Editorial Assistant

  • Greg

    JoinThe New Fresh Water Navy "Protecting Our Nation One Puddle At A Time"

  • Nosfer6

    Our last line of defense against the Asian carp invasion!

  • Conrad

    How to keep drunk and crazy boaters away from you on Lake Lanier.

  • Kevin

    Mamma told me there would be days like this!!!

  • Charles Chapman

    Always "bring enough gun"….always….

  • Gonkinator

    France sends her help in the war on terror.

  • DVG

    THIS ! IS ! SPARTA !!!

  • DVG

    I'll keep my gun, my freedom, and my… erm… vehicle.

  • Ross

    Yes, I said "Ol tub", but this is not what I meant.

  • psymanagement


  • Gerald Benard

    Dear Ms. Sheila Jackson-Lee of Texas: this, my dear, is an assault rifle…

  • hijinx60

    Hey, Leon!! Duck season opened at daylight. Hurry and get you fat a$$ in the boat.

  • Meenguy

    This is the swiftboat that I was referring to, stated John Kerry.

  • Leppell

    Eat your heart out George Washington.

  • csluder

    I guess fishing with dynomite is a thing of the past!!

  • Tom

    Me and my Texas gun boat on a budget.

  • Joshua Frost

    The Coast Guard was holding GI Joe tryouts for the upcoming movie.

  • Noah

    Why does Canada have a Navy? So the US Coast guard has somebody to poke fun at!

  • Russ

    Bass Master

  • Bob Meluskey

    a ma duece keeping our local city swimming pools free from illegals

  • Mike Posey

    Editor Jim Bequette and the early days of the Guns and Ammo Yacht Club.

  • ryansmith16

    What really sank the titanic

  • Cody

    Puddle Pirate fast attack boat, because when the water is this shallow you don't need a ship.

  • Steve

    Budget Cuts!

  • Kenneth Johnson

    Well we finally have a volunteer to put a stop to the Iranians threatening to stop the oil export from the straits of Hormus!!!

  • David

    A little slow going forward, but man it has a hasty retreat when you light up this puppy!!!

  • t williame

    pull trigger for reverse

  • Regan Bullard

    Coast Guard technological innovation: Electric to go forward, Smokeless powder for reverse.

  • Anthony Grindle

    This new stealth boat is ready to kick ass !!!

  • Rob

    "Because Shooting Fish out of a Barrel is just too Easy"

  • mdillingham

    Pull the "TRIGGER" and you won"t need the trolling motor..

  • @TydWonon

    Twist knob for forward. Pull trigger for reverse.

  • Jean Hetherington

    When asked if a "Leaner-Meaner" military could really be effective, the administration looked at the evidence and said, "NO COMMENT".

  • @TydWonon

    Recent budgetary concerns have "reduced" the size of the Coast Guard fleet.

  • wade

    new us olympic training motivation apparatus.

  • Steven E.

    What?….. This was the only paddle boat they had left, I swear!

  • Micheal Smith

    United States Coast Guard, protecting our waterways since 1790!

  • Terence

    His other vehicle is a Prius.

  • Bill

    Preparing to board Oil Tanker of the Coast of Iran.

  • Ray

    Check it out… they pimped my dingy!

  • F. Bruno

    Semper Paratus!!! Molon Labe!!! (Always Ready!!! Come and Get It!!!)

  • Michael T.

    "Man, I never shoulda made fun of General Smith's lisp. Guarding the Fort Knox Reservoir sucks."

  • ChiefT

    DOT budget cuts hit the Coast Guard hard.

  • william

    ma–duece on the loose

  • Jeff

    The Tidy Bowl man seeks vengeance for countless flushes.

  • Jeffrey Priest

    Coast Guard to experiment with Low Speed High Drag.

  • Ben

    "Go ahead, cross my border, you won't like my friend here or my American hospitality"

  • Scot Murtha

    This is the weight watchers program for the Coast Gard ;)

  • chiefs69

    Here Nessie, here Nessie, come here girl.

  • dugiboy

    Mitt Romney taking another deposit offshore . Better safe than sorry !

  • drhiggins90

    S.S. John Kerry! Next, I bet he'll tell you that he took out an Iranian fleet with this little diddy.

  • Rolsen614

    "It's not the size of the boat that matters, it's what you've got strapped to it!"

  • john

    I am so sick of these %*# damn FLYING CARP!

  • MichaelDunbar

    Due to budget cuts, the Coast Guard presence on Kentucky and Barkley Lakes will be somewhat……..diminished.

  • CanuckGunNut

    Throttle for forward, recoil for reverse

  • John Silvis

    My Gun pushes me faster backward the the motor goes forward.

  • Edward Bleistein

    The latest equipment deployed by the US Coast Guard to protect our inland waterways and ports is an extremly quiet and leathal one man craft . However ineffective in rough water, but the guards stand by the motto (Bring Enough Gun)

  • Reggie

    he was in Cuba when his boat lost power. the Cubans went after him and he shot at them and found himself back in U.S. territory!

  • reggie

    everytime I shoot, the boat moves faster!

  • reggie

    where is that monster fish I've heard so much about?

  • Ed Johnson

    Coast Guard suffers Obama cutbacks, forced to buy Mexican firearms through "Fast & Furious" deal.

  • Jeff

    Now lets put it in reverse

  • William

    Who says "We need a bigger boat"

  • Jesse

    Coast Guard Commando

  • Jeff S

    1 Canoe Wreckin Crew

  • cavebabe13

    Now let's see that fish get away………………

  • Bill Goulet

    President Obama announced today that the budget cuts to the Coast Guard would not affect National Security because we were able to order three times as many security vessels from China than we could have bought here in the US.

  • Jon B

    Ha!! Like who needs an outboard!!??

  • steve

    you want some,OK meet my lil friend

  • steve

    you think this is somethin,you should see my 16fter

  • Jason Vorce

    "Here we see the coast guard testing their new experimental 50 caliber watercraft propulsion system."

  • lajemac

    The Coast Guard suffers MORE government cutbacks.

  • cyanide909

    either cut the boat budget or the gun budget

  • CGochanour

    I dare an Asian Carp to try and knock me out of my boat!

  • Kurt Hausch

    Another day aboard the U.S.S. Expendable

  • Ian

    Coasties do it best, enough said

    • Ian

      When ports shut down, when the U.S. Navy won't go out and when god himself rips the roofs off houses the USCG is ALWAYS READY.




  • Eugene

    I don't know why i leave the fight faster than I got there!

  • Donovan Vest

    You know that word overkill? Me neither.

  • Dave

    Feeling left out Utah starts their own Coast Guard.

  • TOD4869

    After we pay off our debt to China!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Someonedude

    Swift Boat Version 1.0

  • Someonedude

    The Dingy that could.

  • Raymond Goodell

    They cut our budget but we can still kick butt.

  • Someonedude

    Small Dingy or Big Gun?

  • dallas197530

    Size doesn't matter, it's the way you use it.

  • Nitemare182

    Fuel is scarce in some places. Introducing the brand new , .50 caliber propulsion system

  • TOD4869


  • Robert_59

    Wanna make fun of my boat? Go ahead, make my day.

  • viv !

    I ain't letting the big one get away this time !

  • Betsy

    "Another one of Obama's cuts to the coast guard funding!"

  • Randy

    Our military will look like this "A.O." (after Obama)

  • betsy

    "You say its NOT the size that counts but the motion of the ocean?" Well lets just cover both those areas just to be safe!

  • Cyrus Jeffers

    Shhh!!! Be Vewy Vewy Quiet I'm Covertly hunting Dwug Wunners hehehehehe!!!

  • Nosfer6

    Guns and Ammo's next publication, Machine Guns and Ammo.
    Sponsored in part by the US Coast Guard.

  • Danny Twork

    I keep having to cross this lake because the damn recoil pushes me back faster than the Troling Motor can push me forward.

  • Coastie Mom

    WHAT?? My son told me he was going to be training on a SHIP…… call THIS a SHIP?


    Coastguard receives new funding for purchase of highly advanced vessels to include this "CHPCRP-007" Multipurpose Terrorist Defense System. This model is equipped with the optional "50 Cal Propulsion System" for high speed easy maneuverability. Also pictured here is the standard rear mounted "Minkota Diver Deterrent System" which will be included with all five of the new vessels.

  • Aaron Ellis

    The coast gaurd (ZART) Zombie Apocalypse Response Team launches their first ship!

  • Scott Hedrick

    forget the engine my gun will propel me.

  • Jan Bedell

    Where's Tim the Toolman Taylor when you need him ??? More POWER !!! grunt grunt grunt grunt

  • travis boyd

    I knew I should have joined the Marines….

  • marc

    We don't need no stinkin bigger boat, watch this !

    OK, Where is that Japanese whaling ship ?

    What do you mean "No man is an island "

  • jan kevin clarence

    Budget cuts small boat big gun

  • Kat

    Enemy Fish Approaching Sir.

  • Ferguson Mark

    the big ship with all the cargo containers and the destoyer escort?

  • -Matt

    Chuck Norris’ Tidy Bowl Man !

  • Meatball758

    Damn Boudreaux, every time i choot my gun de dang bout go backwards…

  • Meatball758

    Damn Boudreaux, i just got dun pootin dem finishing touches on my autoramatic rod and reel.. You tink dem Bass Masters store guy's wuld wanna buy my idea???

  • Meatball758

    Awwwe Cher' i told u im gonna beat dem Bill Dance an dem Jimmy Houston in dem Bass Tournement dis weekend no???

  • _Ray

    After years of research we are getting closer to the perfect firepower to vehicle ratio.

  • Mike

    Not-so- Swift boat

  • Steve


  • Eric

    Does this helmet make me look silly?

  • Walt Sved

    On full automatic, this thing will do 40mph – backwards!!

  • Jim

    This part of the Rio Grande sure is beautiful in the morning!

  • Nosfer6

    Bob agreed to re-up but this time it was only for a three hour tour!

  • Paul

    U.S.S. GUPPY SHARK, tiny little fellow with a big bite.

  • GaryB_45

    Said hello to my little friend !!!

  • Ryan

    It's all about priorities.

  • jmb

    every time I shoot my m2 I end up across the bay. I wish I had an anchor

  • Mthoffman11

    Thank you Obama forgiving illegal aliens healthcare, now I have to drive a hybrid!

  • Eric

    While not as lethal as the Navy’s Seal Team Six, the Coast Guard’s Otter Team 6 has espirit de sputter.

  • Mack Missiletoe

    In Soviet Russia, cereal box prizes contain assault boats and a military contract.

  • John

    Prepare to be boarded!

  • Stephen Malm

    Hey – Get off my lawn! :-)

  • Ray Marksberry

    Anybody seen the @#?*ing BISMARK?

  • Michael Pratt

    this will be the Last time those needle fish steal my bait

  • Michael Pratt

    >":>*BUZZZzzcrackle":">* Castro I think this is gonna work theres no way we can loose ":">*Crackle>"::":*

  • Michael Pratt

    BUZZzzz"">* they wont know the difference"":>Crackle}:*

  • Csluder

    Surviving the cut "Pond Patrol"

  • Marshall Briggs

    New Jersey Mosquito control

  • 762BodyDropper

    Now I can shoot and back up at the same time!

  • Tony Christiansen

    Those ducks are so dead!!

  • Barry

    Canadian Navy

  • getmetoeswet

    Some of us related to dad better after the dementia took hold.

  • mtatw

    This gives the word "DINGY" a whole new meaning…. cause it goes much faster in reverse when firing than when full speed ahead.

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