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Zombie Nation

9 Awesomely Creative Ways to Kill Zombies

by G&A Staff   |  August 9th, 2012 63

Obviously, we’re in love with our guns. They’re among the most important tools to have during the zombie apocalypse, and could very well save your survival party. But what happens when you’re out of ammo, or when you’re faced with a catastrophic malfunction?

Time to get creative. When your gun can’t cut it, time to improvise. There are an infinite number of ways to kill zombies, but we’ve rounded up nine of our favorite ways, some inspired by our favorite zombie movies—er, documentaries—and some the products of our own twisted imaginations.

  • SamF1911

    Good stuff G&A Staff but one thing. How long does a active zombie have to burn before it goes down for good? I mean it would be bad enough having a zed chase you around but a flaming zed would be a lot worse in my opinion.

    • Alan_T

      Sam , …. ( A – hem ) ….. I seem to recall a similar question posed to the " Wise Old Owl " about how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop ?

      ….. The answer of course was , " Nobody knows ! "

      • SamF1911

        I always took the owl at his word Alan. You mean to tell me it takes more than three licks to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop? : )

        • Alan_T

          But Sam …….. that's only because he BIT into it !
          HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

      • Wolvie

        Um, if I remember correctly, the owl said, "3".

        Only that know-it-all VoiceOver guy said the world may never know. But he was just a butthole…the owl proved it was 3!

        So Sam…the answer is "3".

        Or if you're a fan of the HitchHiker's guide…the answer is 42.

        • Alan_T

          Oh , I see , I went from being " Bro " to know – it – all , voice over butthole guy . I'd have been fine with " know – it – all " or " butthole " , but really Wolvie , know – it – all butthole simply goes beyond the pall !

          Yeah ……. I see how you are now . Know – it – all , voice over butthole guy indeed …….

          • Alan_T

            Hmmmm , I guess it was Griff that called me Bro .

          • Wolvie

            Damn! Now see…I thought you were Mr. Turtle…

          • Alan_T

            Shhhhhhhhhhhh I am , but don't tell anybody , I don't want to be mobed for autographs Wolvie .

  • John Doe 69

    Unless you burn down through the muscle tissue it will just be a crispy zombie trying to eat you. Fire will only work if you incinerate a zombie, as in cremation. I like the idea of a very deep hole that they can't climb out. When you get a couple dozen in there just pop them in the head with a .22 or 9mm then burn them to ash.

  • S-W-S

    I just love the idea of the zombie pit with sound-based bait.

  • Tommy

    Nail gun safeties can be wired back or held back with the left hand. Then it's fire at will baby…

    • Alan_T

      Uh ……………………… okay .

    • ZENPATRIOT

      Very little power and less range, plus you’re tied to a compressor. Fail.

  • Mack Missiletoe

    I'd enjoy sitting on the roof of a fairly fortified home or business, with a friend, and picking zombies off with a bolt action rifle in my favorite caliber. A silencer, aka sound suppressor, would be a plus because it would attract less zombies.

    • Alan_T

      Mack , I'd enjoy sitting on the roof of a fairly fortified home or business, with a friend, and picking Jeepers Creepers off .

      • Guest

        LOL !

      • SamF1911

        Don't waste the ammo Alan. Just let the zombies take him…..than after he turns you can do what's right.

        • Alan_T

          Mmmmmmmmm ….. ok , if you say so Sam , I think I still remember the formula for napalm . OR , better yet , do you have access to a flame – thrower we can use on him ?

          • SamF1911

            Nope Alan, I am sticking to my guns. : ) I still think fire and the undead don't mix…..but after you put the undead down with a head-shot I say burn them until there's nothing left.

          • Alan_T

            Well …………. we could use machete's on Creep . that would be fun and it would give us some upper body exercise .

            OR … I KNOW ……. we could use a couple of tree pruner to cut his head off ….. that wouldn't take very long since he's a pencil – necked geek with a pinhead ! Especially if we both had one and worked opposing sides . We'd be done in a flash and it'd be Miller Time !

            Ooooooooooh this is taking me to my " happy place " thinking about a world without that dog pile , jeepers creepers !

            Somebody stop my feet from dancing !

  • jeepers creepers

    (?) & (DF) = 0 ZOMBIES

  • Drake

    Zombies? Is this the PC way of saying I cant wait to shoot hordes of hungry homeless people when the economy gets worse? Keep on preppin fools. Keep spending that money.

    • Mack Missiletoe

      No drake, this is zombies.

      • Alan_T

        Careful Mack ……. I saw Drake " eye – balling " you . I think he might be a zombie trying to deceive you so he can eat your brains !
        HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

      • Griff

        Drakes a zombie! LoL

  • Starky

    I think it is time for the staff of all or favorite firearms publications to end the Zombie stuff. I understand it is a way for manufactures to promote new products and increase sales and publications make money by selling space in the publication for advertising and articals, but christ, enough already! I am also tired of articles that praise every firearm as great and wonderful even when the information published shows it can hardly hit a 5 gallon bucket at 100 yards. Let's get back to honest testing, reporting and comments. Let's get back to articles on improving accuracy, function and reliability. Articles on shooting technique and positions. Enough zombie fantasy and more weapons and firearms reality.

    • SamF1911

      Nobody made you click on the "9 Awesomely Creative Ways to KIll Zombies" part of the G&A page Starky. So if you don't like the zombie genre just skip past it. It's not like G&A only writes about zombies now anyway. You have all kinds of none zombie stuff to see here, so please just chill out.

    • Antonio

      Starky, I just worked a long week and have lots of backyard work to look forward to this weekend, so reading something irreverent is something I find as distracting and relaxing as any good entertainment. PLUS, we can talk about one of my favorite subjects, firearms! Guns rock, baby! And finding any excuse, any environment, real or fictional, to talk about guns, is something I enjoy, and so do a lot of these good fellas on this site.

    • Alan_T

      Starky …….. did somebody take a family member of yours hostage and force you to come to and read this blog ?

      Yeah …………….. I didn't think so .

    • Griff

      Dont like it dont read it.

  • Mack Missiletoe

    I understand twat you mean Starky but there are a lot of zombie movie fans out there. Check out the Dawn of the Dead series, Zombieland, Walking Dead television series.

    It's fun. Grab your favorite gun such as a .38 Ruger or a 20g double shotty and pop some zombies who would eat your braaaaainz…. Makes for a great videogame.

    'Oh no, but all i think is in real life because I enjoy paying taxes and have no imagination' <—don't be boring people.

    • Alan_T

      Mack , when you said " I understand twat " was that an oddly appropriate Freudian Slip directed at Starky ? ? ?

      If it was , i have to say good for you Mack and that I agree with you whole – heartedly you calling him that ! HAHAHAHAHA

      Seriously ….. I'm right with you Mack .

      • Mack Missiletoe

        Art is what you make of it.

        I didn't mean to call him a name, not like that. It was a legit misspell but I was too lazy to correct & thought it was funny :D

        • Alan_T

          So true , so true and it WAS beautiful Mack !
          Thanks for the laugh my friend . HAHAHAHAHA

  • GUNMAN

    Hey, Patrick Sweeney, how about an article on body protection from Zombie bites? Shoulder pads?
    Something for the neck, arms and legs? Cut resistant gloves for the hands? Helmets w/face shield?

    Then there would be Bug Out Bags or back packs and what to put in them (besides AMMO, water and socks).
    Tampons are great for bloody wounds (not bite wounds) as they swell up and hold a tremendous amount of blood..

    What;s the best vehicle? I like my F-250 w/crew cab. It can carry allot of supplies and has 4 wheel drive incase the roads are blocked by abandoned vehicles.

    Just a few suggestions, I really like reading the comments as much as the articles.

    • Mack Missiletoe

      4wd F-250 would work mighty fine! Why, I could stand in the back and pick off some Zombys with my Marlin .22wmr Bolty.

      I remember in Zombieland when they found that H2. I drove an H2 once (I think it was yellow as well) but I was a kid and I was really nice to it–slow and around the block.

      I let the owner drive my 1/10 scale Team Associated RC10GT Nitro R/C truck. It was worth it. Small for large :D

  • GUNMANOO1

    Starky, go read the other articles and ignore this blog, we like it so stop complaining.

    • Alan_T

      Amen GUNMANDO1 !

    • Griff

      Amen

  • Andrew

    Hey now, you guys are being unfair to Starky. I think that people should only be interested in things that I am interested in too. Anyone else who likes something I don't is dumb and they are wasting their time, and more importantly, I like to go out of my way to point it out.

    • Alan_T

      Me too Andrew !
      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  • Alan_T

    If I had problems with zombies , I'd just cut up Jeepers Creepers and use him for chum – bait ……. It might not " kill " the zombies , but it would sure as hell make them too sick to bother anybody else ! ! !
    ( sorta kidding , but not really ) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    • Griff

      LoL Alan, you're too much.

      • Alan_T

        Quit Griff …….. you'll make me blush !
        Thanks HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  • Aussie in disbelief

    I agree with Starky, this zombie rubbish is damaging the credibility of not just the magazines that review guns, but the entire shooting community. To the antis, we look like idiots carrying on with this zombie rubbish. A magazine recently reviewed a zombie shotgun, what a joke! What kind of idiot who is serious about the longevity of the sport would even consider buying one of these? Yes it's a bit of fun, but if we are to present a credible front as a serious and legitimate sporting group, this zombie rubbish needs to disappear before our credibility does. They arent real you realise. The damage to our credibility is.

    • Alan_T

      I've got a mews flash for you Aussie , to the " antis " ( sic ) the " entire shooting community " are going to look like " idiots " no matter what we do . You and others like you , pandering to the hopolophobes only makes them stronger , as witnessed by the sorry state of affairs in your country .

      It's pointless to worry about credibility with these people because you ( we ) don't have any . Never did ….. never will .So the real issue is ……. YOU are in the same bed with the " antis " ( sic ) and doing their bidding for them .

      Do I care about zombies ? No , I don't care one way or the other about it … BUT ….. people enjoy it and it's not damaging a damned thing …. except in YOUR mind .

      • Griff

        I love reading you bro, keep up the good work Alan.

        • Alan_T

          Thanks Griff .

      • Aussie in disbelief

        Get some professional help mate, you're a mental case.

        • Alan_T

          " Get some professional help mate, you're a mental case . " ?

          Is that the best you can come up with Aussie ? Nothing to back up your claims ? Nothing to counter what I said ? Just " Get some professional help mate, you're a mental case . " ?

          Most intelligent people , if they didn't have anything better in their arsenal than that would have quit while they were ahead But then again you don't appear to be intelligent , Sissy …..ooooops …. I MEAN , AUSSIE .

          I suppose I should at least feel thankful that you didn't use the dreaded " I know you are , but what am I ? " gambit on me . That would have really substantiated your views and crushed me beneath your towering intellect !

        • SamF1911

          Take it easy Aussie, it's only zombies. Besides the zombie genre is all the rage these days with books, comics, games, movies, t.v. shows, etc., etc., and what G&A is doing with the "Zombie Nation" thing is just good business.

          So if you don't like it………….DON'T READ IT!

    • Wolvie

      Dear Aussie with diarrhea,

      I have already seen some of your other posts here and you have proven, in your own writings, that you are nothing more than a xenophobic, anti-America, sad little malcontent who needs to bash other countries, cultures and people in order to feel better about yourself.

      The fact that I have known some very respectable Aussies keeps me from taking your comments as a point of view that is shared by your countrymen. No, you are just a pathetic little person who shows how tough and brave he is by trolling American websites and telling all of us just how bad we are.

      I hold nothing but respect for our allies down-under and wish them the best. However, before you start throwing stones from your glass house:

      Explain why you have a triple-digit percentile rise in crime since your gun bans, yet the US is still showing a nationwide and steady decrease.

      Please list for us all the great cars, trucks, aircraft, guns, textiles, electronics, software, hardware, medial equipment, medical procedures, space technology, military technology, any technology, financial industries, manufacturing, or anything else that you export or give to the world.

      And no, lousy beer in big cans, hats with one brim folded up and Yahoo Serious movies don't count.

      Please tell us how your museums, stage, film industry and Internet industry leads the world in arts and culture.

      So before you cast stones and try to put down an entire people simply because of your own insecurities, try cleaning up your own backyard first.

      Then again, like the useless parasites on the Left we have here, you as an individual probably will never get it. So, I'll just continue to offer my best wishes and my sincerest hopes for success to your countrymen. You, however, can go outside and play Hide & Go F Yourself.

      • Alan_T

        Ok ….. We're friends again ! HAHAHAHAHAHA

  • GUNMANOO1

    By the way, the "GUNMAN" post was me too. That was the name I used before I signed on and I had to add the "OO1" cause it said GUNMAN was already used.

  • Tanstaafl2

    Oh PLEASE – this is so completely unrealistic! (not the Zombie Apocalypse – the thought that I would ever be without several guns and a ton of ammo.) You can only stretch credulity so far ;-)

    • Tanstaafl2

      BTW, for those of you who've had your sense of humor surgically removed – that was a joke

  • http://www.facebook.com/jeffrey.tealfishie Jeffrey Tealfishie

    I just don't get it….
    Can someone wipeout all the zombies for once and for all so we can turn the page on this sillyness??

    • SamF1911

      What's wrong with silliness? I'm sorry but by your logic we should remove all the fun in shooting sports. Do you think SASS (single action shooting society) events should also go away because the shooters dress up like cowboys? Have you ever been to a zombie shoot? I don't know about you but I like to have fun from time to time when I go shooting.

  • https://www.facebook.com/joelscopeland Joel Copeland

    Personally, I think most of you are short on imagination, for instance: Use a skeet launcher to send saw blades through the necks of incoming zombies. It certainly helps if you have a group of friends with one of these bad boys each, but in a pinch, you could take out one or two with one high-velocity blade spinning through the air. No need for propellants. Spring-loaded devices can be made to hurl many different kinds of objects, even multiple objects, with little or no welding required. For immediate spring supplies, take off the back tires of automobiles with rear drum brakes. Flaming tires make for great zombie burns. Catapult several flaming tires at the incoming horde and enjoy the resulting fun!

  • Philip

    We sort of dismiss it, but I have a bad feeling that this Apocalypse WILL Manifest itself in the not-so distant future. Of coarse I don't mean Zombies, however, we have witnessed massive rioting outside the US within the past year. We don't like to think about it, but inside America, people came too close to the fringes of these same issues, being pitted against each other.
    Whether it's the Wall Street, San Fran, LA semi-riots over 'class-distinction'… the race baiting of the Sharptons and Jacksons, or stripping Amendment 1 in the name of 'sensitivity', to appease a people who want to expand their Governmental policies under the guise of religion… something seems ready to burst. I mean, when did this dominant world torchbearer become an unsure reactionary? Perhaps it's just me.
    But for now, aussie, starky…allow me please, to take some time and have some fun, playing whack the Zombie!
    Because … as I'm on the range, I'm praying that it remains hoards of fantasy Zombies that I'm engaging, and my concerns of a real living Apocalypse are unfounded.

  • Wolfsbane

    Sorry, but as much fun as it might seem, it's just not legal to kill the Republiscum.

  • George Kelley

    Max Brooks has the last word on the subject in his book “Zombie Survival Guide”.

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