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Zombie Nation

Zombie Slaying with a Full-Auto Glock 17 Conversion

by Patrick Sweeney   |  May 14th, 2012 22

Yes, this is a fun job. Yes, you should be jealous at times. (Only at times, the rest of the time it is work. Trust me.) I recently had an afternoon with a full-auto toy par exellance: a converted Glock 17.

I know what you’re thinking: “Oh god, would that be the world’s best zombie-slayer? I would rule the world.” Alas, no you wouldn’t. At 1,000 rpm, it went through ammo at an eye-blinking rate. I could control it, but I am me. Not to get all bragging and such, but I’ve been at this a long time, I’ve shot a lot of ammo and I know how to control recoil. There were other shooters along, and at times I feared for the range signs up on top of the berms. A five-shot burst that spans eight feet, from lowest to highest shot, at seven yards? That is going to slay zombies?

Could I get a head shot out of a burst at regular distances? Sure, but why do it quickly with five rounds when I could do it in plenty of time with one? Ammo is heavy, and ought not to be wasted.

As part of the testing, I ran an impromptu practical stage. As designed, it required 23 rounds, and took most of the competitors about 20 seconds or so. The faster guys did it in the mid-teens. On auto, it took me 28 seconds (OK, there was a malfunction) and more than 23 rounds to finish.

Fun? You bet. But not as fast as I could have done the stage, shooting single head shots with the Glock on semi, and with a lot less ammo expended.

And remember, head shots rule. A whole 33-round magazine, hosed at full speed through the legs of the assembled shufflers, isn’t going to do you any good. Now, a mag, controlled, dumped into a fast-mover, that might be useful.

So, if in scrounging through the local PD, post-apocalypse, you come across a G-18, cool. Just don’t expect more from the giggle switch than entertainment. Depending on full-auto fire, when it wasn’t warranted, may be exactly what got its previous owner’s brains munched.

  • https://www.facebook.com/kmeiersks Kyle Meier

    accurate or not still lots 'o fun

  • Patrick Sweeney

    [giggle] You bet.

    • https://www.facebook.com/kmeiersks Kyle Meier

      I must ask how you got into this line of work? I've always been told to try to get a job where you love what you do, and firearms and ballistics have been things that get my heart rate up since I was old enough to hold up my .22.

  • Tanstaafl2

    Neat (though expensive) to play with, but I've really got to ask, "What real world application somebody would ever WANT a G18 for?" It's very difficult to control to any degree of acceptable accuracy in full auto, and it goes through ammo faster than my teenage son goes through pizza. If you want a pistol, get a G17, if you want a submachine gun get an MP5.

    • http://www.facebook.com/george.j.cruz.9 George J. Santa Cruz

      I've only had one opportunity to shoot the G18 and that was at a Glock LE Instructor school. Shooting short burst, the G18 is VERY controllable… Obviously if you dump the entire mag, it is going to rise… but the concept is to fire short controlled bursts…

  • Jeffrey

    Oh you suck! No videos!!!! Lol!

  • mike lake

    I had the awesome pleasure of shooting a g18 on full auto riding inside a short barrel assault rifle kit with 33 round mags!! That was the most fun shooting I have ever had!!

  • Deadwood

    ENOUGH of the zombie BS.

  • herbdoc

    I am sick of seeing patrick sweeny's picture in every article he writes. I even have a full page picture of him shooting something. I was thinking of using it as a target. NO matter what gun he writes about you see him aiming, firing and recoiling. why not just make a picture magazine of patrick sweeny playing? show pics of guns, ammo and such. No more partick sweeny pictures in guns & ammo, shooting times, ar15 yearlys, etc I've seen more pics of him than elmer keith, skeeter skelton, john sundra, jesus christ or any politician (other than obama). doug

    • Diana W.

      You sound like a jealous woman. Face it, you just want to be Patrick Sweeny! Just like I want to be Megan Fox.

    • Muther

      I still think he is David Fortier's daddy. :)

  • herbdoc

    I guess you can't read dianna w. I don't know of a woman named doug, do you? I' am not queer for sweeny either, just am sick of seeing his face multiple times in the magazines I read/subscribe to. maybe you are one of his CDI's? I'm not. show close ups of the guns he is shooting not his face. I don't see my face that often in the mirror. DOUGLAS

    • Diana W.

      My dear Douglas, I was merely encouraging you not to sound petulant and catty. Your stated desire to shoot someone’s face full of holes and never see it again is reminiscent of stereotypes associated with jealous women. As a guy, these are character traits that you may not desire to promulgate about yourself. One reason that G&A probably includes so many photographs of Patrick Sweeny is that many of us, who know and respect his opinion on firearms, will stop flipping through pages and read the article, or will click on the link with his picture, just to see what he has to say. This is probably due to the fact that we all know that he has skills and experience far beyond what we will ever have and has the ability to write about them in ways that keep us reading. We may also admire the fact that he has made an amazing career out of his favorite hobby. If only we all could earn money by shooting guns and writing about it… And Douglas, I hope that you too will find peace in fire, and contentment in detonations.

  • Officer Lou

    I carry one on my tactical vest almost everyday to back up a MP-5 or M-4 Carbine, short of a handgrenade, nothing faster to get you out of trouble in a room, other than that, put it on semi.
    Yeah, I get paid to shot over 200,000 rounds a year also…
    And get paid to ride a police model Harley Davidson.
    Ha..ha..ha…
    As patrick said, at times it is work.

    • nonono

      BS

    • nonono

      we all know you're a 12 year old and thinking of COD

  • herbdoc

    I actually like his articles. he makes few mistakes. I jujst am sick of seeing his picture holding, shooting and after the shot pictures. I would rather see a close up of the GUN. What's next a fold out? anyone ever seen the back of his head? what's he to you? son? husband? boss? CDI? douglas

  • http://www.facebook.com/gregmhoo Greg Hoo

    Zombies are real NOW!!! "bath salts" just a new code for T-virus from the umbrella corp and Miami is racoon city!

    • Mark

      True, that Miami Zombie didn't want to go down. So, now reality is catching up.

  • Patrick Sweeney

    Wow, all this over a little C3 afternoon fun.

    Reason? Purpose? C'mon, we're talking hand-held full auto. And just for the record, if you know what you're doing, you can do a full magazine (33 rounds) dump and keep all hits on the target.

    Diana, I think you're great, but I'm already married. Douglas? Don't be a hater. And Officer Lou, even I can't shoot 200,000 rounds a year. At that rate, how do you find time to ride said Harley?

  • AvgJoe

    Whats the point of this article?
    Congratulations, you can afford to shoot a auto-pistol and brag about it. Then try to justify it as a Zombie tool.
    Looks more like an ad for Glock.
    How about some reviews on handguns, rifles and shotguns the average joe can afford or not need a level 3 FFL?

  • Redstater

    I am so tired of zombies…

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